YOU BETTA LAUGH OR YOU'LL CROAK TOO SOON. THE UPSIDE OF THE DOWNSIDE: THUMBING THE NOSE TO AGING, BEHAVING BADLY, LIVING OUT LOUD, AND SLIDING ACROSS THE FINISH LINE WITH A SH*T EATING GRIN

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


This Ship Just Took a Wrong Turn

Two days ago I found out my house is worth less than what I paid for it. I was shocked. Just a year ago, it had a comfortable margin over what I owed. This is important, because I was counting on it for my retirement.

What to do, at my age? Maybe I will become Jane of the Jungle. Jane is a crafty gal who knew when she was beaten, and decided to fight her situation.  In her case, she won. In mine, who knows? But to be honest, who cares?

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." Thank you, Janis Joplin. Like so many middle class victims of Depression II, the Sequel, I am facing old age in poverty. I won’t have doodly squat for retirement. If the Tea Party has its way, I won’t even have social security. The law is no longer my friend, so perhaps it’s best to live, shall we say, outside the mainstream. 

How ‘bout that revamped motor home that runs on manure and hides in the woods? How ‘bout shoplifting as a way of life? How ‘bout grabbing a few veggies from the farmer’s field in the dark of night?

How ‘bout going over to the dark side? Because the light over here has gone out.

Damn, I guess I won’t get my facelift after all. But today I tried a sample facelift cream that irritates the skin and makes it plump up, and it looked pretty damn good. Combine that with the zero stress of not working, the zero stress of not paying taxes, the zero stress of being outside the predatory system….and I might just wind up with greatly improved skin tone.

Yee. Haw.

1 comments:

  1. What is the name of that cream? !!! Tell me and I will join you on the dark side....oh wait, I already have.

    ReplyDelete